🎄 How to Stay Sane When Visiting In-Laws for the Holidays

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Visiting the in-laws for the holidays is a special kind of parenting Olympics. You pack like you are moving. You brace yourself for the late bedtimes and inevitable cranky grouch your child will be. You try to remember that your partner grew up here, so everything that feels mildly chaotic to you feels totally normal to them.

And somewhere between the travel, the traditions, and the “So how’s parenting going?” questions, you are supposed to remain calm and festive. If you need a survival guide, here is mine.

1. Lower the Expectations Right Away

The biggest gift you can give yourself during holiday visits is the gift of low expectations. Do not expect your child to behave perfectly. Do not expect your in-laws to suddenly understand boundaries. Do not expect peace and quiet.

If you set the bar at “We will survive this,” you will feel like a winner by dessert.

2. Bring One Comfort Item for Yourself

This is the part moms forget. We pack comfort things for the kids but nothing for ourselves. Bring something that helps you stay calm or grounded.

Ideas:

• A cozy blanket perfect for the plane AND for extra snuggling
• Noise-cancelling headphones for that inevitable mental escape you'll need
• A favorite mug for your morning coffee
• Better, yet, your favorite coffee

These little things help more than you think.

3. Create a “Mom Timeout Plan”

This is not dramatic. It is necessary. Plan ahead for moments where you can step away and breathe. A short walk around the block. A quick errand you volunteer for. Helping “set the table” in another room.

Call it strategic sanity preservation.

4. Stick To Your Child’s Routine As Much As Possible

Holiday visits can throw routines into the blender. Try to keep the basics consistent. Meals, naps, bedtime. Not perfectly but close enough. Kids behave better when their bodies know what time it is.

Let your child know that, while you may be staying somewhere else, your rules still apply. Wash your hands. Eat "some" vegetables. Say please and thank you.

But... brace yourself for the next tip.

5. Let Small Things Go

Your child will probably eat too much sugar. Your in-laws may offer parenting advice from the 1980s. Someone will comment on something you did not ask for input on.

Take a breath. Smile politely. Vent later in the car. Choose peace for the sake of your sanity.

6. Bring One Activity That Keeps Your Child Busy

A simple, quiet activity buys you a shocking amount of peace. A drawing pad. A puzzle. A small craft kit.

👉 Idea: Portable kids activity set

This keeps your child entertained and reduces the number of times you have to apologize for something your child did near a breakable object.

Final Thoughts

Visiting the in-laws for the holidays is a whirl of family energy, expectations, and emotional landmines. But you can survive it with humor, low pressure, and a few small comforts for yourself. Remember this: you are allowed to take up space, have boundaries, and protect your peace.

Your job is not to be perfect. Your job is to get through it with your sanity mostly intact.