🌱 Raising a Non-Jerk: The Parenting Goal We All Have

If you asked me before becoming a mom what my parenting goal was, I would’ve said something cute like “I just want my child to be healthy and happy.”

Now? Of course it's still true, but as I watch my kid grow and interact with others, something I also want is to raise a non-jerk. A decent, kind, emotionally aware human who doesn’t grow up to make other people’s lives harder.

Not the highest test score.
Not the neatest handwriting.
Not even the kid who eats all their vegetables (though… that would be nice).

Just… a good human.

And honestly? That feels a lot harder than I ever expected.

🤔 Because Being a “Good Human” Isn’t Natural, It’s Modeled

Kids are born curious, messy, emotional, and wildly self-focused.
A toddler isn’t sharing because they’re generous. They’re sharing because we gently force them to take turns before someone cries.

So if kindness doesn’t come pre-installed, the responsibility falls on us (the parents ) to actually teach it.

No pressure, right? But some days it feels easier to teach math than empathy. Because man, I can definitely be a jerk sometimes.

💛 The Moments That Actually Matter (Spoiler: They’re Small)

I used to think “raising a kind kid” meant Big Teachable Moments.
But now I think it happens in the tiny, unglamorous ones:

• When I apologize to my child after snapping: showing them adults can be wrong too
• When I hold space for their big feelings instead of brushing them off
• When I choose patience in public (even though my brain is screaming internally)
• When they see me treat strangers with respect

Kids learn far more from what we do than what we say. Unfortunate. Because sometimes I suck as a human being. 😂

🪞 The Hard Part: We Have to Be the Person We Want Them to Become

This is the part that humbles me daily. Raising a non-jerk means I can’t be one either.

Not to them.
Not to the tired barista who got the order wrong.
Not to the driver who cut me off in the school line at 7:53 a.m. (still working on this one).

Sometimes I look at my child’s behavior and realize… oh.
They got that from me.

And then I take a breath and try again tomorrow.

🌱 The Goal

If years from now, someone tells me:
“Your kid made me feel included”
or
“Your kid stood up for someone who needed it”

I’ll consider this whole wild parenting experiment a success.

Anyway, that's my thought for today. Good luck, parenting colleagues.