mom-life

Making Mom Friends Is Weirdly Hard

Making mom friends can feel like dating, but it doesn’t have to be awkward. Simple, realistic tips for finding and building real parent friendships.

Unwise Mom

03 Nov 2025 — 2 min read

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No one warned me that becoming a parent meant also re-learning how to make friends. Not the “we sat next to each other in math class for a year” kind of friendships. The grown-up kind where you bond over snack pouches, school germs, and the universal exhaustion of keeping tiny humans alive.

Making mom friends is awkward. Necessary, but awkward. It feels like dating, except instead of worrying about if they think you’re cute, you’re hoping they don’t judge your kid for eating off the floor.

🧩 Step 1: Look for Your “Type” of Mom

You do not need to be friends with every mom you meet. You only need the ones who feel like your kind of chaos. For example:

The “I’m late but I made it” mom
The “I packed a lunch but forgot the napkin” mom
The “My kid is melting down so I’m pretending not to panic” mom

Once you find a mom who shows her real self, that’s your person.

👋 Step 2: Start Small, Not Deep

As much as I love to pour my heart out to anyone who will listen (aka anyone that's not my six-year-old), you don’t need to trauma-bond at the playground on day one. Sometimes it starts with:

“Love your sneakers.”
“I swear mine never naps either.”
“Want to walk to the parking lot together so it looks like we know what we’re doing?”

Friendly, light, and human.

☕ Step 3: Move to the “Want to Hang Out?” Stage

This part feels like asking someone out. The key is to keep it low-pressure.

Try one thing:
“Want to grab coffee after drop-off?”
or
“We’re going to the playground after school if you want to join.”

If they say yes, great. If not, it’s not a rejection of you, it’s a rejection due to their current energy level. For a casual first meet-up, a park or coffee shop is perfect. Or keep it safe with a “kid-focused event” so the kids entertain themselves while you talk.

🧸 Step 3.5: Let the Kids Be The Kids

Kids don’t have to be best friends for the moms to be friends. Sometimes the kids clash, and that’s fine. Part of parenting is teaching them that friendships take patience and differences are normal.

I bring one small toy or activity to soften the chaos during early hangouts, and here's the key - I ALWAYS BRING TWO OF THE SAME ONES. Don't jeopardize a new friendship by spending the entire time trying to keep the kiddos from arguing.

Here are a few tried and trues: