Identity Crisis: Who Am I Outside of Parenting and Work?
Remember when you used to have a life outside of parenting and work? Let's think about how we can find "you" again.
There’s a strange moment in parenting where you realize you used to be a whole person with interests and hobbies and playlists that were not curated by a cartoon rabbit. You used to have time. You used to have a personality that wasn’t shaped around remembering where everyone’s water bottles are.
And then one day you wake up and notice that your identity is made up of titles. Mom. Employee. Snack provider. Permission slip signer. Carpool scheduler. Human reminder app.
You are still you, but buried under tasks, timelines, and tiny socks.
When Did We Stop Asking Ourselves What We Like?
If someone asked you right now, “So what are your hobbies?” how would you answer?
Not what you do for your kid.
Not what you manage for your home.
What do you do just because you enjoy it?
Motherhood and work have a way of swallowing every spare minute. It is not intentional. It is survival. Responsibilities grow and interests shrink. Then one day you find yourself with a rare hour of free time and you have no idea what to do with it.
Not because you lack interests.
Because you forgot what they were.
You Don’t Need a Big Reinvention
When moms talk about “finding themselves again,” it can start to feel like a massive project. A journey. A branding exercise. Like you need a new style, new hobbies, a morning routine that involves organic matcha and journaling in linen pajamas.
But here’s a softer truth.
Most moms do not need a full makeover. We just need tiny pieces of ourselves back.
Not a whole hobby. Just one song we like.
Not a lifestyle change. Just one small choice that is only for us.
Not a new identity. Just a reminder that we still exist under all the roles.
A New Version of You, Not the Old One
We are never going back to who we were before parenting. And honestly, we shouldn’t want to. We grew. We learned patience, flexibility, grit, and emotional endurance we did not know we had.
Motherhood did not erase who we are. It evolved us.
The goal is not to become who we used to be.
The goal is to make space for who we are now.
Maybe that version reads books in 10 minute fragments.
Maybe she paints once a month.
Maybe she drinks her coffee hot and calls it a spiritual practice.
It all counts.
