🦷 The Cavity Chronicles: When I Got Teeth-Shamed by the Dentist

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I cried the first time my kid got a cavity. I had honestly been great about getting her dental checkups in religiously. But the year she turned six, we went to the dentist and BAM, we found three cavities, one of them serious enough to need a crown.

Obviously, seeing your kid in a dental chair getting fillings is not fun. But I mostly cried because of the shame spiral that came with them. After she got her fillings, the dentist gave me that look. You know the one. The “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” tone that somehow hits harder than yelling. She told me I wasn’t doing a good enough job brushing her teeth and said that I need to "do better."

Amazing. Nothing like getting emotionally tackled by a masked lady with her judgy eyes. You been there? Keep reading. I'll make you feel better about yourself, promise.

Let's Be Honest

I brush her teeth. I floss (or I try. Those tiny mouths, they're hard to get to cooperate). I supervise. I sing the brushing songs. I even do that overly enthusiastic cheerleader thing parents do to stretch brushing time.

People don't talk about it much, but there is so much shame is wrapped up in dental health. When your kid has cavities, people act like you’ve been sending them to bed with a juice box and a ring pop. The dentist’s tone, the comments from other parents, even the articles online can make you feel like you’ve failed at something basic.

But here’s what hardly anyone says out loud.
Dental care for kids is tricky. Really tricky.

Yes, we’re responsible for raising healthy humans. Yes, brushing and flossing matter. But cavities are not always a reflection of parental effort. Kids can have:

• naturally softer enamel
• deeper grooves in their molars
• pH imbalances
• genetics working against them
• higher bacteria levels despite good brushing

All that along with school snacks, weekend treats, juice boxes, birthday parties, and grandparents who believe dessert is a love language, those tiny molars are working against the odds. And even then, somehow the kid who eats fruit snacks like it’s their full-time job walks out cavity-free while you’re Googling “pediatric dentist payment plans.”

If your child has dental challenges, it doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means they have a real body with real quirks. You’re not alone. And you’re not a bad parent. Sometimes, teeth are just unfair.

All that to say - you can't throw dental care out the window. After all, you are the parent and you are still responsible for doing the best you can. I gave myself a pep talk, and here are some changes I made that helped both my kid and myself to feel better about her teeth.

🪥 1. Upgrade the Toothbrush

We switched from a basic kid brush to an electric one. Before this I did not know that kids could use electric toothbrushes. The speeds are a bit slower and the brushes have softer bristles. She thinks it’s fancy. I think it does half the work for me.
👉 Idea: Oral-B Kids Electric Toothbrush (remember to change out the toothbrush head every 3 months, as per dentist recommendations)

🍓 2. Make Toothpaste a Little Fun

Flavor matters more than we think. If the toothpaste tastes like mint punishment, kids won’t brush long enough. We love mixing things up with these toothpastes that are fluoride based, and have a fun design.
👉 Idea: Fluoride kids toothpaste (set of 3)

🧃 3. Snack Swaps That Don’t Feel Like Sadness

Fruit snacks and sticky candies are basically cavity glue. So we swapped in cheese sticks, pretzels, and yogurt. Not perfect, but a step in the right direction.

🌊 3-BONUS. Post-snack water

My kid knows that after she has a treat, she has to have a glass of water. It gets out a good chunk of those leftover particles, and bonus, added hydration.

💤 4. The Nighttime Rule

Only water after brushing. Nothing else.

💬 Final Thought

So no, I’m not the mom who has every health routine perfected. But I am the mom who tries, cries, learns, and adjusts. And honestly, that counts. Parenting is basically a long list of things you thought you were doing right until someone in scrubs tells you otherwise. And even then, take it with a grain of salt.

If you're wondering what happened after Dr. Judgy Judgerson fixed my kid's first three cavities, I'll tell you.

We got more cavities (2 more, to be exact).

And I switched dentists.

This dentist was SO kind, SO understanding, and took the time to walk through how to better floss her teeth, to reassure me that kids & cavities was a normal occurence, and said "Good job, mom. You're doing great."

And if you're still reading this, I want to tell you with 300% of the energy I have left after a long day: Good job. You're doing great.

So with that, I’m off to brush her teeth again. Just in case.